Jamie
Hubley. Phoebe Prince. Megan Meier. Ryan Halligan. Tyler Clementi. Five
teenagers whose only connection in life, was a connection in death.
In
some instances these teenagers were depressed, displayed a lack of emotion or
energy, and harbored negative and suicidal thoughts due to things. When someone
is depressed, negative thoughts such as, “I deserve to be in pain,” “I have no
friends” or I should die,” are often dwelt upon. Jamie Hubley and Ryan Hubley also had negative
thoughts that contributed to their deaths.
According
to the Huffington post, Jamie had a blog called, “You Can’t Break… When You’re
Already Broken.” The blog that featured ominous messages like “Sometimes I wish
the breeze would just take me with it,” “The only thing worse than being hated
is being ignored. At least when they hate you they treat you like you exist and
“Suicide is always an option.”
John
Halligan (Ryan Halligan’s father) said Ryan said things like “Well what’s the
sense of living? I’m just a dumbass. I’ll never amount to anything.” Especially
when he thought he would disappoint his father when his progress report wasn’t
going to be good, according to PBS.org.
I
know this to be factual due to my personal experience in this matter. A year ago, I was severely depressed and
wanted to commit suicide. I was hurt by someone I know. This person was someone
I cared for, and would use extreme verbal abuse towards me; such as calling me
awful, annoying, and untrustworthy, and it caused me to believe it. .
Verbal,
mental, emotional and physical abuses are the main reasons why people become
depressed and suicidal. People who are obese are constantly abused by comments
pertaining to their weight such as: “Don’t you have a Big Mac to eat or a donut
to push in your mouth?” However, as hard
as they might try, their weight may not lessen due to health problems. This may
invoke the person to give up, causing mental and emotional abuse.
People
who are considered nerds or otherwise “different” may suffer not only emotional
and verbal abuse, but physical abuse as well. They may get food thrown on them
or are called losers constantly. They too are just trying to be accepted.
Words
and actions do really impact people like Jamie, Megan, Phoebe, Ryan, Tyler, and
so many more. Jamie Hubley was tired of
being taunted for being the only openingly gay student in his high school. Many people in this society still are not open
to the idea of homosexuality. For many of us, high school was tough because we
were trying to fit in, to find ourselves, or to just have a friend. Now imagine
what Jamie must have felt every day, and what he went through. Imagine having to spend every day being the
target of ridicule, the one person every bully liked to pick on just for being
who you are.
Phoebe
Prince was bullied and harassed. A student threw a can at her from a passing car
as she walked. Phoebe had just recently
moved to the U.S. from Ireland prior to her suicide. She was bullied and
harassed because of disputes with other girls over her brief relationships with
their ex-boyfriends. Disputes over a
girl dating a guy you like should never lead to bullying.
Megan
Meier was cyber-bullied and sent a vile text message stating, “Everybody in
O’Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a
shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you.”
Megan
was talking to Josh Evans, a 16 year old on Facebook. While talking online to
Josh for a couple of weeks, they seemed to click and her family described her as
having her spirits lifted. Then –bam! Megan finds out that Lori Drew sent this
message to Megan on Facebook, pretending to be a 16 year old boy named Josh
Evans - How would you feel if this happened to you?
Many of us, especially girls, would be devastated; however, Megan decided to
take her life after reading it.
Ryan
Halligan was bullied from his classmates in real life and online. He was sent
instant messages from his middle school classmates accusing him of being gay,
and was threatened, taunted, and insulted incessantly. Ryan didn’t have any high
school experiences. He didn’t live to see his prom.
According
to the New York Times, Tyler Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University, had a
video streamed on the internet of him having a private sexual encounter with
another man. Tyler wasn’t openly gay
when it happened. How would you feel if a sexual encounter went viral? Most of
us would be severely embarrassed. Tyler Clementi, before committing suicide,
posted a status on Facebook that said, “Jumping off of the George Washington
Bridge.” Imagine being on Facebook and seeing that status show up. Most of us
wouldn’t believe it and would ignore it. A few would try to contact Tyler. But
just as they attempted to reach him, he jumped.
Some
might disagree on whether constant bullying contributed to all of these deaths,
but no one can deny that it was a major factors. According to Towleroad.com,
Councilor Hubley (Jamie’s father) said, “We will not say that the bullying was
the only reason for Jamie’s decision to take his own life, but it was definitely
a factor.”
To
help reduce the number of suicides, people can help by doing several things. 1.
Let the person know you are there to care for and comfort them. 2. Make him or
she realize that someone wants them. 3. Never give up or leave them. 4. Show the
person how much they help you in life, and 5. Try to help fix the problem that
is causing their depression.
Many people have felt alone, as if no one
wants to be around them or cares about them. As I have mentioned earlier, I have been
depressed and have friends who are still dealing with
depression.
When
I was severely depressed, the biggest thing that helped me was knowing someone
cared, was there to comfort me, and didn’t give up on me. All five teenagers felt like no one cared
because it seemed like everybody was out to put them down instead of help them.
So let a person know you are there. I
send morning messages to my friends every day,” or messages with a joke, just to
help brighten their day. It lets them know I am here for
them.
Making
someone realize you want them makes them feel like they are important. I felt
like I didn’t help anyone, but only made them worse. I felt from that I was too
awful and annoying to be around them and it would make their life worse by
having someone who was. However, to know
that I did help made me feel important again. By friends helped me realize I did
help by sending me messages. One of my friends, Caroline said to me, “You are an
amazing person and a great friend. You have changed my life (for the better) and
have helped me so much.” Receiving messages like that definitely helped me see
that I wasn’t worthless but priceless and
had friends that didn’t give up
on me and listened.
Listening
helps people solve problems that cause depression. Sometimes a person wants to vent about their
problems to someone, but when you feel alone you start thinking that no one
wants to listen to you or even cares. I felt that way and it caused me to want
to keep everything bottled up inside into I felt like I was going to explode.
As
a society, we can help my being more alert and aware. Parents know when your
child seems down about something or their mood changes drastically. I know as
kids we lie about how I feel. I know when my parents asked how I am or how my
day was I would lie sometimes and tell them what I thought they wanted to hear.
My parents didn’t know I was severely depressed or even wanted to commit suicide
a year ago and still do not know. When someone is having negative or
suicidal thoughts, help them instead of avoiding them. By helping a person who
is dealing with depression, you are saving a family from losing a loved one
forever.
According
to ABC news, Tyler Clementi was considered a sweet, fun guy to be around. “Tyler
was a remarkable person in many ways; he was always kind, generous, sweet and
loyal, Christina Guentert wrote to ABC.
“He always had a smile on his face, and would joke around with me during
class even on bad days,” wrote Guentert, who went to school with Clementi for
seven years in Ridgewood, NJ. However, Tyler Clementi died at the age of
18.
Megan Meier was described by her parents as a
“bubbly, goofy” girl who enjoyed spending time with her friends and family,
according to Wikipedia.com. Megan died
at the age of 13 and her parents will no longer get the chance to see the
bubbly, goofy side of her or spend any time with
her.
John
Hallligan described Ryan “As the most adorable, sweet, little
guy a dad could ever dream for, according to PBS Frontline. Ryan Halligan died
at the age of 13 and the dream of still having the sweet little guy in his life
was crushed.
Phoebe Prince was called “smart and charming”
by her principal. Before her death she had just been invited by a boy to the
winter cotillion, the height of the social season at South Hadley High School in
Massachusetts, according to truecrimereport.com However, Phoebe’s chance of
going to the cotillion ended. Phoebe died at the age of
13.
Jamie Hubley was described by his father,
Councilor Hubley, as “a very happy and confident child. He was a compassionate
person always looking to help others and didn’t have a mean bone in his body,”
according to towleroad.com. Now John’s father won’t be able to see his
compassionate son at all. Jamie died at the age of 15.
Tyler.
Megan. Phoebe. Ryan. Jamie. These five teenagers will never get to experience
the feeling of life again.
